I had cow dung 4 breakfast: Mice plan to take over the world

Mice suspected in deadly cat fire

Mice may be responsible for a blaze that killed nearly 100 cats at an animal shelter near the Canadian city of Toronto. An initial report from the fire marshal says mice or rats chewing through electrical wires in the ceiling are likely to have sparked the blaze.

Severed cable disrupts web service

Internet and phone communications between Europe, the Middle East, and Asia have been seriously disrupted after submarine cables were severed. The cause of the break is as yet unknown, although some seismic activity was reported near Malta shortly before the cut was detected.

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Okay, think carefully, what do those two incidents have in common? Let me help you, sure you have noticed the words in itallic? Cat and cut? All right, stop scratching your head – it’s mouse.

Mice like to nibble at things and cats are their arch nemesis. But was those two incidents just mishap? Our sources report otherwise. They say that it was just a warning sign – horrible things will happen in the coming days.

We were able to capture a mouse, and boy it was a hard task. We lured it with a huge amount of cheese. Next we put it on a shoe box and interrogated it (Guantanamo Bay approach). However, the mouse proved to be a hard nut to crack. After a long week of persuasion, threats and bribes - it spilled everything out.

Our prisoner, let’s call it Jerry, said that they are planning to take over the world and the assault on the cat shelter was sort of warm up for bigger things. Though Jerry denied to comment on how they were able to go underwater, he did reveal everything behind the cat shelter fire.

It all started with a simple kill. The mice were tired of living in the underground. They want to enjoy the upper side, and maybe become a chef, like the mouse in Ratatouille. So, after all this years, they decided to launch an invasion against the humans. After lots of debate over the cheese plates, the Elder Mice decided to include other species in their plan. First automatic choice was the cats. They decided to end their rivalry and work side by side. Besides, cats would prove to be an important ally against the humans.

“But the ca The murder ts were stupid”, snorted Jerry. “They killed our messengers one after another. Finally, the High mouse decided to pay a visit himself. And those infidels murdered him!”

“And that was it!,” exclaimed Jerry. The mice decided to strike immediately and they planned to teach the cats a lesson first. After proper planning and recon they launched the attack.

First they planted agents among the shelter. The reports said that some rats also died in the fire. “They were our agents,” claimed Jerry. “They died for a noble cause, they will go to heaven.” We couldn’t understand if he was talking about the same heaven we are familiar with. Nevertheless, we asked “What about the dogs that died?” “Oh,”explained Jerry, while nibbling away on the 13th serving of cheese. “They were just casualties, innocent bystanders. Our officials are working to reconcile as we speak.”

After the cat shelter incident the, the cats surrendered. Now, they are being used as transports for mice. Although, we were unable to get a single comment on the severed cable incident, we suspect that the mice conspired with sea creatures or manipulated them to do their bidding. Perhaps they plan to cut our communications first. Afterward, they will attack the isolated human groups.

Suddenly, the electricity went out, and we heard screeching noises. We thought the better of it and ran with our lives. When we returned later, we found the empty shoe box and the spectacle of one of our esteemed colleagues. We tried to call his cell, but of no avail. We fear, he may have become a hostage.

In the meantime, we are preparing for our mice overlords to take over.