Derelict melancholy

Travelling through the alleys of human mind

Melancholy, descends upon his unsuspecting prey

Sows the seeds of discontent

While his prey sees ghosts more than

Vast hell can endure…

The predator fawns lady grief

Succumbing to his impish charms

Grief, decides to move in

 

They settle on the tottering mind

Now a prolific ground for severe maelstrom

Suicide – the hate child of this unholy union

Toys with fragile emotions

Swims in the salty sea of sorrows

Lurking in the dusted corners

While dreaming… 

Nightmares

 

Ardor turns to apathy…

Aspiration to aimlessness…

Adoration to abhorrence…

The moribund prey searches

For the meaning of his wretched existence

In death

 

Evicted from the empty vessel,

Melancholy, again embarks upon his nomadic journey

Searching for another morbid mind

Perhaps he’ll get to stay a bit longer…

This time around.

My Life… or something like it

It’s been a while since I’ve written about my life. Not much going on. I’m back to my mundane routine. Home, varsity, home. But there is something different about me – I’m trying to push myself; testing my limits. I’m up for activities, but things aren’t just working out. Perhaps my luck has finally run out?

 

Last year was truly amazing. One of the best years of my life. I started living again. I had fun for a change. Those frequent outings with friends, night drives, robotic workshop, and to top it off: the trip to Banderban. The following trip to Chittagong was great as well. But the new year started with a bump. I knew I wasn’t going for a smooth ride this time around.

 

The semester started with an unlikely experience, so as to prove my earlier speculations.  I’m not concentrating, kind of drifting along. I know what I’m suppose to do, still I’m procrastinating. My head is on the cloud. I know what’s causing this. I’ve fallen victim to an impractical dream. 

Although I know it’s difficult to achieve, I’m chasing it. I’ve stopped resisting a long time ago. I’m going with the flow, following my instincts, making up plans on the way. Still I want more. I want it more than anything. But the dream is draining me, emotionally. I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve, as always. Limiting my happiness…

 

What else can I do? I can’t fight off that intense desire. I don’t want to. I want to give in to it. But day dreaming and planning my next move all freaking day, isn’t really helping. I’m becoming more and more attached. I’m being more aggressive. I’m afraid that I might vent my frustrations on wrong places.

 

I can’t let go. Not now, not after all that has occurred. There is a nagging question in the back of my mind. I’m ignoring it for the time being. But it still poking out it’s ugly head.

What will happen, when the dream’s over?  

I really don’t know. I might loose everything. The dream has become an integral part of my very existence. Bittersweet.

Envy

Envious of the world around me

I envy the air, the sun, the moon

                                 Even the specks of dust

They can ogle at you

Touch your gentle curves

Steal a kiss or two from

                             Those ruby colored lips

How fortunate they are!

Feasting their tireless eyes upon your impeccable beauty

                           Inconspicuously

They need not worry about the consequences

Staying with you from morning till dawn

The night breeze caresses your hair, dark as the devil

The moonlight softly nudges your angelic face

Morning shine wakes you up with a  peck

The lecherous rain washes you…

                      Ravishing your delightful form

Me – a mere mortal

Has to rely on happenstance

Waiting for eons to cast a furtive glance

Cherishing those evanescent moments

Awaiting for that coveted ‘other time’

Ever fleeting from my dreamscape

                    O elusive Goddess,

Where do you dwell when you are not astir?

I want to know what’s inside you

Grant my wish

Enshroud everything else

Give this tale of ours a blissful ending